Syndicate content

QuotesQuotes

Stay away from negative people

Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.

— Albert Einstein

I contend that we are both atheists.

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

— Stephen Roberts

Flat Earthers have nothing to fear

The Flat Earthers have nothing to fear but Sphere itself...

— unknown

My house isn't on fire

On Republican arguments against the Affordable Care Act: "Why do I pay for the fire department? My house isn't on fire! And it never will be!"

— Lewis Black

The Daily Show (20 Sept 2017)

There are three kinds of men

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

— Will Rogers

Question with boldness even the existence of a God

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

— Thomas Jefferson

Letter to Peter Carr, 10 August 1787

Cock holster

(On Trump) You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock-holster.

— Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (1 May, 2017)

A ton of shit

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a women, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!

— William Golding

...masturbate our way into hell

(On Hillary vs Donald) You can go out and vote in a very big way for someone like Hillary Clinton who then you can challenge and support [...] Or we can just masturbate our way into hell.

— Sean Penn

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (27 Sept, 2016)

You are all star dust

You are all star dust. [...] So forget Jesus; the stars died so that you could be here today.

— Lawrence Krauss